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Holly

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i had a dream that you were mine.. [09 Jul 2007|11:34pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

i do love this journal, but it has too much history.
i'm moving on with my life. :]



therefore, i have a new journal;



angeliquexange


feel free to add it. i'll update there from now on. :]






♥holly
stars

des yeux qui font baisser les miens.. [09 Jul 2007|04:17pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

today i'm making chocolate chip cookies and watching White Christmas.
i'm listening to one of the only songs in the world that make me feel
decent, i'm wrapped up in a blanket that keeps me warmer than any
silly boy's sweatshirt ever could, and i'm thinking in french.


because for once in a long while,
i need that kind of comfort.








♥holly
1 shooting stars

still there's something in you that i believe in.. [05 Jul 2007|12:23pm]
[ mood | tired ]

so hello, good friend..
i wanna be next to you.



all we ever wanted was,
love, and love, and happy afternoons..



baby, baby, baby,
when all your love is gone, who will save me..
from all i'm up against out in this world?



i pray you're not at all in love,
with someone else, with something new..
with something other than me and you.



but every time we hang up this way..
i wanna get him back on the phone.



i feel like it's hopeless..



everything is fine,
i'm lonely all the time..
cuz all i want to do is be there,
for the things that you're going through..



it should be me you wanna show..
cuz everything says you and me, babe, belong.



can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken..
your best friend always sticking up for you,
(even when i know you're wrong..)
can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance,
five-hour phone conversations..
the best soy latte that you ever had.. and me?



seeing her picture in my place,
is telling me i'm not good anymore..



wait, don't tell me you're the one,
the one that got away..
i never meant to let you go.



i'll smile, and you'll wave..
we'll pretend it's okay.



it shouldn't be so complicated;
just hold me, and then..
just hold me again.

can you help me?
i'm bent..
i'm so scared that i'll never,
get put back together.



i'd like to think, that this never would've happened..
if i'd only been straight with you.
cuz i know i tried to tell you every day..
i guess there's nothing left that i can do.



that day will most likely never come for me..
and it's just my luck, to end up getting stuck,
to everything you are.
so tonight, i'll sit and pick apart your pictures..
and overanalyze your words.
but the truth is,
that i've never fallen so hard.








♥holly
stars

if i couldn't sleep, could you sleep? [03 Jul 2007|10:25pm]
[ mood | sad. ]

it shouldn't be so complicated;
just hold me, and then..
just hold me again.

can you help me?
i'm bent..
i'm so scared that i'll never,
get put back together.









♥holly
stars

i'm gonna laugh, so you can't see me cry. [29 Jun 2007|11:54pm]
[ mood | numb ]

everything happens for a reason right? and i know people tempt fate all the time. i do it plentyy. i'll take my phone out and set it to music, and then i'll ask it a question and shuffle the songs and use the first one as my answer. but like, i had chinese food for dinner tonight and like, we got fortune cookies and stuff. and there were two and like for some reason my mind was like you needa take the far one cuz it's about bugg. and i was like, ...all right. so i fuckinn take it right? and i open it up and i fuckin read the little paper and guess what it says?




never give up.







♥holly
stars

just wanted to tell you.. [29 Jun 2007|09:56am]
[ mood | confused. ]

i think it's weird how i don't get nervous anymore. like i mean, my mind gets nervous about stuff. but you know that weird feeling in your stomach that you get when you're really nervous? like the first day of school or tryouts or something like that? yeah. i haven't gotten that feeling about anything for a long time. i stopped getting nervous like that about chorus concerts in 3rd grade. yeah. you just get used to them. and you're in a big group so it's not really a big deal. i stopped getting nervous about the first day of school in 7th grade. my stomach didn't hurt when i had my solo this year, auditioned for jazz allstate, or when i tried out for select. nothing makes me that nervous anymore.


except going to your house.



yah. just a thought.





♥holly
stars

i should win an oscar for this scene i'm in.. [28 Jun 2007|12:10pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

this is why i love hannah montana. :]




uh oh, there you go again,
talkin cinematic..
yeah, you.
you're charming,
got everybody starstruck.

i know,
how you always seem to go..
for the obvious, instead of me,
but get a ticket and you'll see..

if we were a movie,
you'd be the right guy..
and i'd be the best friend,
that you'd fall in love with.
in the end, we'd be laughin,
watchin the sunset..
fade to black, show the names,
play the happy song.

yeah, yeah,
when you call me,
i can hear it in your voice.
oh sure, you wanna see me,
and tell me all about her.

la, la,
i'll be acting through my tears.
guess you'll never know, that i should win,
an oscar for this scene i'm in.

if we were a movie,
you'd be the right guy..
and i'd be the best friend,
that you'd fall in love with.
in the end, we'd be laughin,
watchin the sunset..
fade to black, show the names,
play the happy song.

i wish i could tell you there's a twist,
some kind of hero in disguise..
and we're together, it's for real,
now playing.
i wish i could tell you there's a kiss,
like somethin more than in my mind..
i see it could be amazing.

if we were a movie,
you'd be the right guy..
and i'd be the best friend,
that you'd fall in love with.
in the end, we'd be laughin,
watchin the sunset..
fade to black, show the names,
play the happy song.

if we were a movie,
you'd be the right guy..
and i'd be the best friend,
that you'd fall in love with.
in the end, we'd be laughin,
watchin the sunset..
fade to black, show the names,
play the happy song.

if we were a movie,
you'd be the right guy..
and i'd be the best friend,
that you'd fall in love with..





it's prettyy insane how that's exactly how i feel.
yay for hannah montana.






♥holly
stars

do you believe in something beautiful? [26 Jun 2007|09:25pm]
[ mood | pumped. ]

legit days i have scheduled.



Wednesday, June 27th - beach with bugg, tori, and cam :]

Thursday, June 28th - hanging out with bugg. :]

Saturday, June 30th - OFFICIAL FIRST DAY OF DRIVING. :]

Monday, July 2nd - mack's house with jordy

sleepover linny's house.
Tuesday, July 3rd - hang out with her. :]

Wednesday, July 4th - partyy at bugg's :]

Friday, July 6th - canobie with jordy, and mack

Sunday, July 8th - mall with mack! :]

Tuesday, July 10th - hanging out with jordy and mack. :]

Friday, July 13th - grocery shopping and bowling with lindsay. :]
sleeping over lindsay's.
Saturday, July 14th - mall with lindsay. :]
lindsay sleeping over.
Sunday, July 15th - my sister's graduation party with lindsay, bugg, etc. (sad cafe?!)
sleeping over lindsay's.
Monday, July 16th - beach with lindsay. :D
lindsay sleeping over.
Tuesday, July 17th - spa day with lindsay. :]
sleeping over lindsay's.
Wednesday, July 18th - end of sleepover marathon.

Monday, July 23rd - Best Friend Anniversary with lindsay. :]

Saturday, August 11th - shan's beach party! :]

Tuesday, August 14th
though
Thursday, August 23rd - Florida with heather. :]


and hopefully some more bugg, luke, wesley, courtneyy, brittany.. etc. :]


other things to do this summer:
voice lessons
get a passport
plan for europe
do algebra II packet
go to smuggs. :]


and other things.



hmmmmm, i'm excited. :]








♥holly
3 shooting stars

nothing good comes easily.. [18 Jun 2007|12:31pm]
[ mood | mellow. ]

gah, i'm in missouri right now. :] i love it here, i'm not gonna lie. every day is beautiful.. it's like always 90 degrees and stuff but it's not really that humid which is fantastic cuz if it was my hair would be ginormous, but it's behaving itself nicely. :] hehe but yaah and heather and kyla are here until tomorrow :] so it's nice to be with them. and uh, i'm staying at my (great) aunt's house and it has air conditioning so that makes me happy! haha and like there's a mall that's like a two minute walk from here but the area where the houses are is like so country like. it's just like really amazing here. and like i'm wicked burnt right now, like to the point of being sick, but it'll be tan later so it's fine. that'll make it harder for me to burn later this summer. :] everything's just working out really well. plus they have like really nice clothes here haha so like shopping's cool cuz i know that when i get home no one's gonna have the same stuff. :] haha but yeah so i really like it here. but yaaaaaaaah i just wanted to post and keep everyone updated. :]


ohh, and gah, make plans for us and leave me something on my myspace so i can start keeping track. lol and like ohh i decided i'm staying here this summer. i'll be going to florida on like, august 14th ishhh. and i'm gonna take voice lessons and do some library stuff, but besides that i'll be around basically all summer, withh certain days already planned out. so lemme know. :]








♥holly
6 shooting stars

i'd probably say that you've been on my mind.. [10 Jun 2007|12:55pm]
[ mood | confused. ]

gah, i need help. my summmer's getting confusing.
okay, so from the 14th through the 23rd, i'm gonna be in
missouri with my mom's family :] and that'll be nice. and then
on the 24th brittany and i might be doing something. and then
on the 25th jordy and i and some other people are gonna have
a notebook/school stuff burning party. :] then on the 26th i'm
hanging out with mack! :] and the 27th is looking good for kriss,
and definitely a bunch of courtney in there somewhere, or on the 28th,
yoooou know. so that's all in june. and then the dilemma starts.

i'm definitely going to see heather in august and i was gonna
stay with her for like a week. then laurel's graduation party
is on july 15th and i'm supposed to help my mom plan a harry
potter party at the library on july 21st. i'm also supposed to
start voice lessons in manchester sometime this summer and i
was still supposed to hang out with bugg, wesley, luke, jordy,
and a bunch of other guys. and i'm gonna start driving in like
20 days, so it sounded like it was gonna be an awesome summer.

and then last night i was talking to heather and she was saying
how she wants me to come down for like an entire month, like from
the beginning of july until august 12th ishh. and i was wicked
excited about it until i realized how much i'd be missing. like
i'd be watching kyla every single day in florida at a walking
distance from clearwater beach. and i'd get wicked tan and
i'd beat bugg in our who's gonna get tanner contest. :] but i
wouldn't get to see him or really talk to him all summer, and
all of my other friends too. i'd miss laurel's party, not get
voice lessons, not be able to drive (cuz you can't drive out of
state), not see my friends, not help at the library, and blah
blah blah. but i'd get to see heather and kyla and pat for a
a whole month and i'd be helping them tons by being there and
i'd get tan and.. i just dunno what to do, you know?







♥holly
stars

i could go anywhere with you, and i'd probably be happy. [03 Jun 2007|03:05pm]
[ mood | happy ]

it doesn't matter who ends up with who,
because in some unearthly way..
it's always gonna be you and me.



you've made me forget the sad in my past.
you've helped me to remove the bad from my present.
and you taught me to wait for the good in my future.

you are my love and my life.
you're the person i care about most.


thank you for existing.







♥holly
7 shooting stars

i'm your angel undercover. [02 Jun 2007|06:58pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

i hate the world today.
you're so good to me,
i know, but i can't change.
i tried to tell you,
but you look at me, like maybe..
i'm an angel underneath,
innocent and sweet.

yesterday i cried.
you must have been relieved,
to see the softer side.
i can understand,
how you'd be so confused..
i don't envy you.
i'm a little bit of everything,
all rolled into one.

i'm a bitch, i'm a lover..
i'm a child, i'm a mother,
i'm a sinner, i'm a saint..
i do not feel ashamed.
i'm your hell, i'm your dream..
i'm nothing in between.
you know you wouldn't want it any other way..

so take me as i am.
this may mean,
you'll have to be a stronger man.
rest assured that when i..
start to make you nervous,
and i'm going to extremes..
tomorrow i will change,
and today won't mean a thing.

i'm a bitch, i'm a lover..
i'm a child, i'm a mother,
i'm a sinner, i'm a saint..
i do not feel ashamed.
i'm your hell, i'm your dream..
i'm nothing in between.
you know you wouldn't want it any other way..

just when you think,
you've got me figured out..
the season's already changing.
i think it's cool,
you do what you do..
and don't try to save me.

i'm a bitch, i'm a lover..
i'm a child, i'm a mother,
i'm a sinner, i'm a saint..
i do not feel ashamed.
i'm your hell, i'm your dream..
i'm nothing in between.
you know you wouldn't want it any other way..

i'm a bitch, i'm a tease..
i'm a goddess on my knees.
when you hurt, when you suffer,
i'm your angel undercover.
i've been numb, i'm revived..
can't say i'm not alive,
you know i wouldn't want it any other way.







♥holly
stars

i hate the world today. [31 May 2007|08:18pm]
[ mood | upset. ]

i hate the way i've been recently.

bugg. i'm so sorry i've been such an ass to you lately. i dunno, shit's going on and i can't handle it all.. especially alone. and we haven't really talked in so long.. i dunno. i wish you knew what was going on so you could talk me through it. i really really feel like we're growing apart and that's the last thing i want.

my friendships are fading fast.

all of them.

i just want you guys to come back. :[

if you feel like we're fading too, tell me.
we'll do something about it.







♥holly
4 shooting stars

don't leave this moment behind. [30 May 2007|07:46pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

these two things have made my year:

Carmina Burana
New York City



and these people:


bugg.
brittany.
court.
mack.
mo.






♥holly
4 shooting stars

all the heartache and the frustration.. [28 May 2007|10:18am]
[ mood | angry ]


i hate when people copy me.

i hate when people don't listen to me.

i hate when i have something important to say,
and no one will let me say it.

i hate being wrong.

i hate having no proof.

i hate not knowing.

i hate when people are selfish.

i hate being jealous.

i hate people i'm jealous of.

i hate when people steal my music.

i hate when people like someone better than me
when me and that person are exactly alike.

i hate when stuff isn't fair.

i hate disappointing days.

i hate when people don't get me.

i hate not ever being able to do anything i want.

i hate people who don't push me.

i hate people who give up on me.







♥holly
4 shooting stars

and i'm tired of waiting for love. [28 May 2007|12:47am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

okay. so all day long, i've been feeling bad for amoebas cuz they don't have spines. and it's the dumbest thought in the entire world, right? but i told the three guys that understand me more than anyone else, and none of them got it. and i know there's gonna be some girls who get it. but i just wanted a guy to understand, you know? like i swear, if one had told me he got it.. it would have started one hell of a long crush. i need someone who can just get me like that, you know? i wanna feel like i can say anything and that my guy is gonna know what i mean. but everyone just thought it was weird.

hkflahkfl;dahnfld;a.
godddddd!!







♥holly
1 shooting stars

you're probably out with someone else.. [26 May 2007|08:12pm]
[ mood | ergg. ]

here i go, driving by your house.
might as well throw some rocks at your window..

yeah, but you don't seem to care,
or maybe you're not there..
probably out with someone else,
tryin to keep it on the down low.

just so you know..
i'm not taking this so well.
since i've been alone,
i've learned how to..

cuss you out in Japanese,
organize my dvds..
play solitaire again,
and i..
hear that you're doing fine,
and smiling all the time.
you really rub it in..
when you say you're over me,
and you wanna be..
just friends.

hey, what about the promises,
that you made to me..?
that we'll always be together,
and you'll be there everyday i wake up..
i found a box of notes you wrote,
each one signed with x and os, and b.s..
like, i love you..we're never gonna break up.

just so you know..
i'm not taking this so well.
now that i'm alone,
i've had time to..

cuss you out in Japanese,
organize my dvds..
smash my sister's violin,
and i..
hear that you're doing fine,
and smiling all the time.
you really rub it in..
when you say you're over me,
and you wanna be..
just friends.

here i go again..
here i go again.
here i go again..
i really miss you.
now it's time to..
beg, pretty please,
i'm pouring on the cheese.
my heart may never mend..

and i've punched holes in all my walls,
closed down all the malls.
smashed my sister's violin,
and i..
hung our picture by the bed,
you're still living in my head.
at least i can pretend..
that you're not over me,
cuz i can't be..
just friends.

just friends..
don't wanna be just friends.







hnfdlahlfda. blahh.






♥holly
4 shooting stars

you really had me going this time. [21 May 2007|03:57pm]
[ mood | jealous ]

you're repeating me lines,
that you think i wanna hear..
but i don't wanna hear anymore.
as if sorry is any consolation..
for what it's worth,
you're stringing me along.


sh, sh, shouldn't need anyone,
shouldn't need anyone..
i'm just scared of being alone.
but by the time you figure this out,
then i'm already gone.

adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.
adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.

you keep giving me signs,
that you think i wanna see..
but you're nothing like you seem.
hide behind your half smile..
but the truth is so undeniable.

sh, sh, shouldn't need anyone,
shouldn't need anyone..
i'm just scared of being alone.
but by the time you figure this out,
then i'm already gone.

adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.
adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.

like lipstick traces on pillow cases..
some things in life are unforgettable.
like love, loss, lies and us, ohh..
some things in life are undeniable.

like lipstick traces on pillow cases..
some things in life are unforgettable.
like love, loss, lies and us, ohh..
some things in life are undeniable.

adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.
adelaide, adelaide..
you really had me going this time.
adelaide, adelaide..
you need to quit, quit making a scene.












♥holly
stars

i stay wrecked and jealous for this. [20 May 2007|10:01pm]
[ mood | lost. ]

i keep forgetting to breathe.
i remember this feeling. it's my least favorite.
i hate my best friend.









♥holly
1 shooting stars

we're miles from ordinary. [20 May 2007|09:24am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

sometimes i bold the parts of songs that say
exactly how i'm feeling, but this one is so
perfect that every single line should
be bold, so i'm just gonna leave it normal.




you know everything that i'm afraid of.
you do everything i wish i did..
everybody wants you,
everybody loves you..

i know i should tell you how i feel.
i wish everyone would disappear..
every time you call me,
i'm too scared to be me.
and i'm too shy to say..

ooh, i've got a crush on you.
i hope you feel the way that i do..
i get a rush when i'm with you.
ooh, i've got a crush on you..
a crush on you.

you know i'm the one that you can talk to..
sometimes, you tell me things that i don't wanna know.
i just wanna hold you..
you say exactly how you feel about her,
and i wonder..
could you ever think of me that way?

i've got a crush on you.
i hope you feel the way that i do..
i get a rush when i'm with you,
ooh, i've got a crush on you..
a crush on you.

ooh, i wish i could tell somebody,
but there's no one to talk to..
nobody knows i've got a crush on you,
a crush on you, i've got a crush..

you say everything that no one says,
but i feel everything that you're afraid to feel.
i will always want you,
i will always love you..

i've got a crush on you.
i hope you feel the way that i do..
i get a rush when i'm with you,
ooh, i've got a crush on you, a crush on you..

i've got a crush on you.
i hope you feel the way that i do..
i get a rush when i'm with you.
ooh, i've got a crush on you, a crush on you..









♥holly
stars

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